The Dirkness is back after a prolonged absence caused by a post-KU depression, the increasingly nice weather outside, and a sudden lack of creativity (causes unknown). So, before I dive in head first to the Draft next week, I thought I'd throw down some predictions on the REAL NBA season, you know the one where they actually try, most of the time anyways. The playoffs always go down the same way: I start out really excited, then I see a few games that the refs ruin and a few others that the refs decide the outcome, I debate whether the whole thing is fixed, and I end up half-heartedly watching the Finals. The over/under for the date that I question the legitimacy is May 11th, so place your bets now. I'll be breaking down each series with a few interesting tidbits including my rooting interest, my favorite player in the series, who the NBA wants to win, and a prediction that is guaranteed to be correct.
On to the picks...
Lets start in the East (which in this case is least):
Cleveland Cavaliers~Chicago Bulls: If LeBron really wants to win an NBA Title he should refrain from shooting any 3-pointers. Or just grow an afro.
Favorite Player: Joakim Noah- Rebounds like the big woman he looks like.
Rooting Interest: Da Bulls. I like D-Rose too (funny how a missed free throw is the difference between love and hatred for him).
NBA's pick: The LeBrons- Quick and painless.
Prediction: Cavs in 5.
Boston Celtics~Miami Heat: Dwyane Wade vs. Paul Pierce.
Favorite Player: Paul Pierce- The most underrated crunch time scorer in the NBA.
Rooting Interest: Celtics- Can't and won't ever get over the Heat's lame white-outs.
NBA's pick: Celtics- Deep into the series and filled with D-Wade free throws.
Prediction: Heat in 6. I'll take a Top 3 player over a team filled with grandpas.
Atlanta Hawks~Milwaukee Bucks: The most hotly contested first round series.
Favorite Player: Would be Andrew Bogut for his creation of a crazy section of fans that is free to them as long as they stand and cheer all game, but he is hurt. Lets go Brandon Jennings, first time I'll get to see him.
Rooting interest: The Milwaukee Bucks- Favorite team in the East while they last.
NBA's pick: To look the other way...
Prediction: Hawks in 7. My sleeper team in the East.
Orlando Magic~Charlotte Bobcats: The Magic's quest to validate choosing Vince Carter over Hedo Turkoglu (while everybody knows they were wrong).
Favorite Player: Mickael Pietrus- Can't stop the black frenchmen, although this Gerald Wallace character intrigues me.
Rooting interest: The Hornets, er, wait...the Bobcats? What?!?!
NBA's pick: Magic.
Prediction: Magic in 5.
Los Angeles Lakers~Oklahoma City Thunder: These playoffs will be defined by one thing and one thing only to me, if the Lakers win the title or not.
Favorite Player: The Durantula- The best player I have ever seen live. Immediately stated that he would be the best NBA player in 5 years...he still has two years left.
Rooting Interest: The oKC Thunder x 1000. If you cheer for the Lakers then I don't like you.
NBA's Pick: They want the Lakers to win, but they want to establish Durant as a star.
Prediction: Lakers in 6. Durant outplays Kobe.
Denver Nuggets~Utah Jazz: The Nugs don't have their mother bud. The Jazz won't have their AK47 or possibly even their Booze.
Favorite Player: Carlos Boozer- Exactly how I'd play if I were a 6'9 black man.
Rooting Interest: Whoever has the better chance of beating the Lakers, I'll say the Jazz.
NBA's pick: Kobe vs. Carmelo would whet their whistle.
Prediction: Jazz in 7. Nuggets haven't been the same since George Karl's been out with a cancer.
Phoenix Suns~Portland Trailblazers: The Blazers' unfortunate string of events continue with Brandon Roy missing this series.
Favorite Player: I love Roy's game but I'll go with Steve Nash- I have a feeling this might be his year, as long as they can avoid the Spurs, who own them.
Rooting Interest: Suns- I like the Blazers a lot, but would rather see a threat to the Lakers emerge.
NBA's pick: Close series.
Prediction: Suns in 5. Sleeper team in the West. I really see either a Cavs-Suns or a Lakers-Hawks Finals matchup.
Dallas Mavericks~San Antonio Spurs: They seemingly meet every postseason with the Mavs owning them ever since Dirk's And-1 Game 7 winner in 2006.
Favorite Player: Like you have to ask...Dirk fact- He is 27th on the NBA's all-time scoring list. If he averages 20 points a game and 80 games a season for the next five years, he will find himself in the Top 5. Bing, bang, boom.
Rooting Interest: The Dirks. He has fallen under the radar with the huge Free Agent class coming this offseason, but it'll be interesting to see if Cuban parts ways with Dirk if they fall short yet again. I want a Dirk-Nash reunion in New York. With LeBron as the third option.
NBA's pick: Should be for the Mavs. They owe them a title. Dirk Fact- Nowitzki's crunch-time performance this season, according to 82games.com (46.7 points per 48 minutes, 45.2% FG, 14.0 FTM, +98) was more efficient than anyone except LeBron (66.1 points per 48, 48.8 FG%, 21.0 FTM, +116). Yep, he's not clutch...
Prediction: Mavericks in 7. I think The Big Fundamental is 'Done'can. The Mavericks have much improved since the trade for Butler, Haywood, and DeShawn. I feel like they have a run in them, but also wouldn't be shocked to see them go down here due to the Spurs incredibly boring effectiveness.