Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Lakers vs. Celtics Game 3

I feel there is no direct angle to go with after the Lakers' Game 3 victory (and don't want to create one on my own to thrust out an "intriguing" article), other than it was poorly played (Lakers bad, Celtics worse), poorly officiated (might want to review this), and poorly affected the Celtics' chance at winning the series. This was a contest that went from the Lakers inability to put the game away when they had the opportunity, to the Lakers allowing the Celtics to crawl back into it with incredibly bad shot selection and arrogance of The Icon Impersonator, to the Celtics relying on ice-cold (the bad variety) Ray Allen down the stretch, to a near complete and utter embarrassment for the league and the sport of basketball if the Celtics would've unjustifiably come back in the last two minutes.

The Celtics lost home-court advantage (suddenly more important in Hockey) on a night that saw their most underperforming player (KG) score the first six points of the game to the delight of a raucous crowd. However, it quickly became evident that the Celtics couldn't put together anything resembling an offense without Garnett in the post or Rondo in transition. I cannot comprehend why Doc Rivers played Crazy Eyes Baby down the stretch as opposed to Cheesy 'Sheed or Krazy Kendrick (how many loose screws amongst those three? And that doesn't even include Ron-Con Artest). He (back to Big Baby) provided nothing on the offensive end, was too slow to guard L'Odom, and too small to guard Kung Pau. Much the same, Doc was too slow to reinsert players from the bench, and too small minded to keep riding Garnett down the stretch instead of a shooter that couldn't hit a jail yard from a basketball arena (think Jesus). The ironic part of the series is how Ray Allen has now won the Celtics a game, and lost them a game, which I suppose makes him the most important player in the series up this point.

I feel I must address the Celtics semi-possible "comeback" at the end of the game, sponsored by the refs, that included three reviews on out of bounds calls (first I've heard of this rule), and which led to every player complaining after every shot and the announcers scrambling for ways to stay hush-hush (Beard n' Stache wouldn't have masqueraded this) about the NBAtrocity that the officiating has become. Lets face it, the Celtics and Lakers got to the Finals based on how they've played, but also by how well each veteran-laden team is able to work the refs during games (led by Derek Bitcher). How can this continue to be such a problem for a professional sport? You might respond with the argument of how hard it is to govern the game of basketball, to which I reply College Basketball does just fine with it. Blame falls equally on the refs (phantom call on Pierce's And-1 to keep things interesting) and players (Kung Pau flopping around like a bearded seal) in present terms, but collectively on David Stern ("The best Commissioner in sports"), who deserves his own sentence. The review implementation didn't seem like a bad idea up until they're reviewing a play containing a foul that can't be called, leaving the refs no choice but to switch the call and reward the fouling team with the ball. This is a case of the letter of the law overriding the intent of the law, a situation that should remain absent from professional sports, yet present in Stern's nightmares. Nobody will be upset about this because it hasn't gravely affected the outcome of a game. Yet.

The worst part of the game was that the Celtics had the Lakers right where they wanted them. Kobe started to panic and was returning to his former Pop-A-Shot self (He drew backboard before iron unintentionally on atleast three fourth quarter shots). Kung Pau wasn't touching the ball nearly enough and was cowering into his KG-induced imaginative shell, ala the 2008 NBA Finals. It will be hard to overcome a home loss and find a way to grind out another victory in Los Angeles. Since 1985, when the NBA introduced the 2-3-2 Finals format, the team winning Game 3 in a series tied 1-1 has gone on to win the series every time (I got that stat from Linda Cohn's Facebook!!!). My prediction may come to fruition, to the dismay of many, especially those that sat through Derek Fisher's post-game waterworks.

I would like to encourage further Laker-bashing on the comments of this post. Come with all nicknames, anecdotes, and rants. Bring your creativity, immaturities, passion, emotional backlash, and irrationalities to the party. All is welcome no matter how short, unfunny, or illogical it may be. Trust me, it'll make you feel better and probably enjoy the rest of the Finals even more.

Di Shirkness


Rickaay the Leadoff Man said...


Great follow up article after that week as an all-nahtural ungroomed pathar in the forest fighting off razorbacks with Amare Qwangamire.

Since I did not watch this particular game because the Cards were fightin the Doggers (which I would like to write a guest article about), I felt this piece completely summed up almost every emoticon that may have been present: whether it be the Beard Seal Moan (that's a keeper), Peakaboo Baby shakin his rattle til he got fed, Luke Walton sharing an odd likeness to Sam Bradford, L'Odom & Gomorrah wishin he could've gotten a hot Kardashian (even the mom), the triumphant return of Sam Perkins ready to check in at moment's notice, and Con Artest daydreamin about fightin Pacer fans with Jermaine ONeal.... well maybe you didn't cover all of those but I feel you laid it out nicely.

I wish I could comment about actual gameplay, but that's why I should just be your producer who yells at the cameraman through your headphones while you try to commentate and in turn make you sputter "and...and... uh" while LBR watches the fire blaze. You need to post that on here by the way along with the written transcription I provided on youtube for the hard of hearing.

As your attorney I advise you to take a jug of rum, a brick of hash, the GSN, and a shark convertible out into the desert (or KS backcountry) and come back with a new article. That's your next assignment due on my desk by Monday.

Rickaay the Leadoff Man

DBZ said...

I hate the Lakers so much I was in LA for Games 1 and 2 and didn't watch Game 1 and watched the first quarter of Game 2 in a gay bar to get away from the obnoxious crowds. Part of that is a lie. I watched the next 3 quarters in a straight bar to get the full effect. So awesome watching people hate Ray Ray.

DBZ said...

Who wouldn't love the Celtics/hate the Lakers after Shrek and Donkey worked their stuff last night. Their interview was even better than their play.

There was an error in this gadget